Are we LIVING?????

Totally craaaaap (rather crappier!!!!),,it's goin to b.. as the title suggests.... But here today while spendin time at hme,watchin ma dad n mom squabble and then in the nxt moment laughing it off....njoin every bit of happiness dat they cn afford( be it a simple joke!!!!) just made me think.... Am i living??? rather for all.. Are we living????....wat it actually takes to b happy??? gettin a degree??,gettin admission to a world class college????mkin the person whom u luv say 'yes' to ur proposal???havin a hang out wid frnds????A nice sleep??? A month long vacation?? WAAAT ACTUALLY????

while i am sittin on ma study table...i hav got a thot which is rather cooler(may sound nerdy to many...)... it's actuallu sayin thanx to the almighty for every thin he(nw don tell me dat god is a gal...) has given mkes u happy....i knw being mortals.. it's nt practical supressin ur desires (no one can do it i bet!!!) but still dat 1 moment of thankin for sumthin realy mks u feel happy!!!

i don knw whether every wish ,every desire of ma parents hav come true till date ...but still they r happy in their own small world.. so why can't it be me???? i admit sometimes or the other we all live in a bubble we build around ourselves; most times we know that's xactly what it is and yet r nt willin to prick it frm within,nor appreciate some1 burstin it frm outside... May b at that point that's wat we need to do to make life worth living,to heal ourselves as we absorb life's reality in a protected environment....As far as i knw i am happy within MY BUBBLE... dat doesnt mean dat i don wanna xplore new avenues!!! rather i luv adventures!!!! but at times i just hope things don't change... situations don't change... hav frndz 4ever... hav relations 4ever... and i hate the line "LIFE MUST MOVE ON".....

But it's the hardcore reality of life dat "LIFE MUST MOVE ON......"(The dots within the quote says dat..)but amidst all these fears,apprehensions,xpectations....i just thank.... "AND I AM HAPPY!!!!!!!"

Don't know why i am writin this!!!!!!!!!!!

well !!!!!!! i hate to write these lines but still " i am back again".....though i created this blog in order to 'pour ma heart out' (as the name says....but lately it sucks!!!!) but the lid seems always closed.... may be i am nt strong enuf to jot dn everythin for public viewing... but hereby i commit (again the rhapsody!!!) to write it regularly....
i don know why i am writin the followin lines...(though i don mean it literally) but still i am writin this on the eve of ma communication xams(it's a PIA though)... while flippin through buks... i wasted abt 1/2 an hr on this... don knw wher it came frm ... but i really wanna write it.... coz i LOVE it.........

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.”

Kuch jyada hi ho gaya!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LIFE @ IITK

OMG!!!! dat was the sole xpression on ma face when i enterd the CL( abbre. 4 central library as the kgpians cal it).....well furnishd..... library spanin over 6 big halls... a digital library...internet wid 2mbps speed...innumerable national n international journals...n literally an ocean of buks rangin frm technical to philosophical..biochemistry to histry...does anybdy need mre????????.....
hav visitd kgp sevearl times.. but got a chance to go in2 lib 4 d 1st time n visit it so thoroughly....but each time i go... always it keeps me bugging dat hw deperately i wntd 2 be here (can't 4get dat i had left BITS to just pursue ma dream...n the chicken pox bout prior 2 IIT JEE)...every moment just flashes b4 me every time i walk 2wards 'Vikash Shila'..... got a lil senti i think... arrgh!!!!! i just hate those prev lines i wrote... but its only me who knw hw badly i wnt 2 b ther.... had a nice time wid adi,niraj n dubeyji outta ther...(oops!!!! din get a chance introduce those characters....) -------nxt post buddy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tryin to speak ma heart

Days pass by somehow But nights now are a wagon of pain injuries may heal with time But marks will always remain Restless on my comfy bed i toss and turn qnd try to sleep But thoughts r bulking my head And have formed a huge heap The past is flashing,its scorching light beams Tearing me apart, breaking me at the seams The darkness of my life is more visible in the dark And now i am trying to give it a voice, trying to speak my heart............

Never thot about it!!!!!!!!

Well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At last i gave it a thumbs up........................... Was thinkin abt it since a long time.... here it is "MY BLOG"................... particularly got an inspiration frm satprem bhai ("musings of a brook".......... just don know why he stopped it) .................. well new to this world..... i may nt be impressive..... but will try to share just feelins(argh!!!!! this line sucks....) ........ coz acc to me...." It only matters how true you r...being true too your self and follow ur heart"............. so as hillary duff says rather sings....." so i don give up... no i don break down.... sooner than it seems life turns around...."................................. hope to get sum followers soon.......................