I Believe..............

Hold your horses as i am going to ask you a hell lot of questions. It amuses me at times to think what it takes to believe in something or someone. How come the belief becomes stronger or weaker? What is not believing?
Does belief rely on facts or feelings? Does one believe from his head or heart? Does belief come naturally or it's guided by influence?
Oh yeah you must be thinking why am i rambling about these stupid things? Some of these may not even make any sense to you till yet. But yet again how do u believe it's not going to in the following lines to come?
People believe in things which they can see, they can smell, they can touch. You believe in food as you can see it, you can touch it, you can smell it. You believe in existence of life as you can see living beings. But what about things that are intangible. Do they exist? I get this argument umpteen amount of time that "Dude!!(Believe me it always starts like this) its there coz i can feel it". Feel!!!! how can you believe in the very verb you use to describe a thing you believe in. I have seen tears , i have heard laughter but what is a FEELING??? Why can't you simply call them hormones? Why and how can we believe in a feeling? Love , hate , Anger , Surprise are the various manifestations of feelings. I agree, even i BELIEVE in these..... but how can someone prove a belief and disbelief.
I won't say i am religious but i have my beliefs. I think yes someone is there who pushes me during my tough times. it may be me , my inner self. But i haven't ever met my inner self.
Many of my friends advocate Atheism. Oxford says an Atheist is "a person who disbelieves or lacks belief in the existence of God or gods" .Its hard to believe a statement which in itself is a disbelief. Its tough for me to understand coz not believing in a belief what others believe is hard for me to believe. 
Do you remember how did you start in believing in these things? Was it natural, or you started believing in somebody's belief? Was it gradual or was it sudden? Is it a hormone in your brain? Is this lack of belief(hormone in the head) the sign of you being healthy or sick?Do you believe you are healthy? What makes you believe that?
I agree those were a lot of questions on your beliefs? But i think rather than believe we should use agree. Its always about agreeing and not agreeing. With things like feelings we have to start using agree or disagree. The things which i agree to, u may disagree. It may be a useless and meaningful post to many of you. But i agree to disagree with you because i agree that "Believing in a belief comes from a belief in the believing of beliefs".   

THE GOODBYE!!!

Her eyes were moist,
her throat a bit chocked,
Somewhere behind the smile,
controlling her emotions she sobbed

I could see she was happy,
I could see she was proud,
But still i could feel her heart throbbing hard,
among the deafening crowd

She smiled, she hugged,
she kissed my forehead,
The touch i must say,
was like an elixir to the dead

Staying awake she would take care,
all through the countless nights till the sun has shone,
Until one day she realized,
now her cub can hunt alone

She never wanted to let go,
She never wanted to loose,
I am her creation,
I am, yes, I am her muse

She waived each time I looked back at her,
through the glass doors i could see her smile would reappear,
She waived until I could no longer see her,
And she could see me disappear

She called on my phone right away,
and asked did u check-in,
I could feel her moist eyes,
I could feel her eyes dripping

She asked me to take care,
I told her she can go,
I had never felt her boisterous voice,
sounding so low

I stopped and took some steps back to see her silhouette receding,
Now it was my turn to sulk,my turn to cry rather,
After all In whole of this world, she is my one and only Mother.

--- 11 hour layover can give enough time to i think

© Biplab Patra and biplab7777.blogspot.com, 2019. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Biplab Patra and biplab7777.blogspot.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. smile emoticon

THE COMEBACK AGAIN!!!!

Yeah i had completely forgotten that my blog existed.... It has been almost three years since i last posted anything in this blog... not that i was a regular blogger but yeah i wrote ... i still write but i don't post it anymore... You can find its and bits of small passages, incomplete poems and  text files with a powerful heading but completely empty in my laptop.
Life has changed much in these years.... Yeah i bet its "the cliched" line you must be expecting from a post titled "The Comeback again"... But yeah life has changed... Both for good and bad...
Well they say the biggest lesson you will ever learn is called "LIFE" and indeed it is true. Lessons learnt, pangs of joy and regret felt, been through sessions of both uncontrollable laughter and tears, changed and re-changed beliefs, some strangers turned into friends and some near ones into complete strangers, faced failures, had some success. Well out-an-out "A Hell Of A Ride" it has been.

It's going to be two years in June since i have come to US for my masters. Life is different up here. Being a student you work hard, u party harder and it goes on. You have to take care of your rent, your food, your bills, your part time job, your academics, your apartment(trust me a bachelor's apartment is a thing to care about) and your relationships. Its indeed tough, tougher than living in India and studying. But it has got its own charm. You find it difficult in the beginning but eventually you kind of gel into it. You live coz you have to survive.
People are very nice up here. Even the complete strangers smile at you while you are walking on your way. I used to think may be life for them has always been like that. Life full of "Smiles". But slowly i realized they smile coz they are happy about whatever the slightest little thing they have. They cherish each and everything which give happiness. It may be the silliest of things like finding a curly fry among standard french fries. And i realized that this is what life should be about. Life is all about leaving all the regrets behind,  how big they may be and start accepting and appreciating the small joys in life. Like the little drops make an ocean..., the small joys make a life. Slowly i have started to feel that too. I smile... yeah i smile a lot now a days... I have lost many things in these two years... But i have gained too. If i have lost friends, i have gained friends... If i have lost trust , i have gained trust too..., If i have lost belief, i have gained belief too.....  Each of the experiences have made me wiser and stronger. I have learnt to appreciate things... be it a scenic beauty, be it a warm weather in the spring, be it a kitten in the backyard, be it a smiling girl in the library.... I have learnt to be happy.
And i do believe that's the way all should be(not that i am judging anyone).

In retrospect i have loads of things to tell and share. But i think i should stop here for now.. Hoping to post again.... Adios!!